The Affair

The Affair
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I’m pretty sure he is having an affair… or sleeping with someone.

He is vaguely admitting it, but I’m not really sure.  Honestly, I’m curious.

I just want this to be over.

It’s funny when he tells me how if I’m not going to be a wife… and all I do is challenge him.

I don’t even know if I could classify it as a challenge.  If I have an opinion, it is usually shot down. And my opinion… my thought…that is the challenge…

But relationships – strong relationships are built on a back and forth.  We have no back and forth.

In sex he only wanted to be on top.  I think the one time I was he complained I was too heavy or I didn’t know what I was doing. All I truly remember is that awkward feeling.

I miss how fun sex can be.

Sex was never fun with him.  Never giggles I didn’t feel were part of my act.

The other men I had been with prior to being married had been interested in me. My hair, my body, my conversations, my orgasms.

He never cared if I had an orgasm.  Our discussions are like that.  He wants to be on top and doesn’t care what my opinion or idea is.

A lot of positive energy has died that way.