Last Mother’s Day I received a re-gift… more like something he didn’t want anymore that was still in the original packaging.
I don’t expect to receive anything from him this year. Last year, he made sure to emphasize how horrible a mother I was and while in previous years I had received rings and handmade cards, I knew that was over.
I’m ok with that.
I hope that next year we are laughing about this.
We must break to mend. I don’t expect our mending to be getting back together, but rather being there for our children. That is what I wish the most. That is what brings me to tears. An aggressive act from one of the kids just tells me how much they need me to figure this out.
This transition is the hard part. I’m on the cusp of so much in my life professionally, but paralyzed by this marriage…. this abuse. It’s hard calling it that. But someone who kicks things out of their way or slams anything in his path, with no concern for those sleeping is not an easy person to deal with. Someone who makes it a point to let me know how wrong I am about anything from keeping house to having sex (when that was still on the table), is not a partner.
His rage seems to increase daily and the hard part is not knowing what exactly is upsetting him. Communication is not one of his strengths.
So my wish is for this Mother’s Day to be the beginning of the end.
We must break to mend.
We’re broken…
Let’s mend.
Happy Mother’s Day
Synclair
